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When you keep reassuring your teen that you love them, only to be faced by insults or silence, it must be hard not to lash out, or at least tell them it is tough for you too, and they are old enough to deal with it. It is absolutely essential, Rudkin and Northam agree, that divorcing parents of late teens remember to be the grownups. "You will have to swallow your pride and take the more grownup stance – they are still going to be furious little kids under it all," she says. "It's the adult's responsibility to go out of their way to make contact with the teenager, and not expect a gracious response."

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